Musings Vol. 18

Nostalgia plagues my mind with “what if’s?”
But now as life moves on, these “what if’s?” disappear
Gradually I move forward with time
Cautious at every step that I take
I cannot help but reach out for a hand to hold
Uncertainty and doubt plague my heart
Holding me back
I have dreams of the future
Yet I do not know what is to come
Unpredictability is ever present
I am scared
Look into my eyes and tell me what you see?
Fear treads within me
Doubt lingers about
The true strength of my soul has not awoken
Thru these tough times I wonder
Always wondering if I will make it
Always hoping to make it thru
I look to you
Will you hold me?
Can you comfort me and tell me it will be okay?
Lend me your strength
Give me your love and I will grow stronger
Although I keep hearing “you will be fine” I still doubt
I doubt the certainty of stability
I doubt the skills that I posses
But…
I have made it before right?
Had I not I would not be here…
What would you say to me?
Sometimes I wish things were a little different
But choices have been made that cannot be undone
And to that avail I move forward
Doubt lingering about
Uncertainty plaguing my heart
My mind unable to grasp my true strength
I ask again…
Will it be okay?
Will it be just like before?
Adversity makes a strong soul prevail…
Am I strong enough?